Showing posts with label Congruence. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Congruence. Show all posts

Thursday, January 7, 2010

You Are Your Solution in Life

Dear Friends,

Welcome to Anbusivam's Blog Page.

All of us have problems in life. I don't think any one can ever find a person without a single problem in this world. Life by itself is a sequence of problems posed in front of us from various facets of life. Most of the time we spend all our time in searching for answers and solutions for our life's own problems. In this entire process the most important person involved is "YOU". Only simple solution for all your life's problem is YOU. Hence the best way to make your life wonderful is to take good care of you.

Yes, it's all about "You".

What you can do for YOU:

- Take quality time off from your daily chores to give yourself.

- Enjoy your own company.

- Be happy and feel good about you.

- Treat yourself with great love and utmost respect.

- Feel you are more worthy and most deserving.

- Look for the positive and good qualities in yourself.

- Focus on these great qualities you love about yourself.

- Have a great belief in your own abilities.

- Have a positive regard and respect for yourself.

- Even kiss yourself often to appreciate yourself.

You are the designer of your destiny. You are the director of your own movie called life. You are the one and only authority having complete control over your life's choices. So, better take good care of yourself.

Ultimately it's all about "You". i.e YOU, YOU and YOU

Thanks for visiting my page.

With Love,
Anbusivam

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Change is the only changeless

Hello Friends,

Welcome to Anbusivam's Blog Page.

Every time I think about some change....I always remember 2 famous quotes I've come across. First one is "Everything changes, only change is changeless" don't know who said this and the second one from Mahatma Gandhiji "Be the change you want to be". Many a times we tend to bend and mend others into our own ways. Trying to change others always ends up in vain and leads to a lot of pain and displeasure. We are not comfortable in changing ourselves as there is a lot of risks involved in that, mainly stepping from the known to an unknown is always fearful, scary, and anxious.

Let's think for a moment how important is "change" in our lives. Neither sorrow, nor happiness is going to be permanent in life. Anything and everything in this world has to undergo the process of evolution and hence change is inevitable. If at all change has not happened, this world would have reached a state of stagnation and no progress would have happened all through these years. In spite of seeing so many changes every day in this world, we are still skeptical about change.

Change at first frightens us, as we have to come out of our comfort zone. and then the fear of uncertainties that would show up. Any change that has to happen outside is most of the times pretty easy, where as any change that has to happen within us is the most difficult thing to happen. But the beauty is when a moment had come for an internal change within ourselves, nothing can stop that. Once we are fully convinced about the change, our mind automatically lookout for ways and means for the change to happen rightaway. To reach that state is the most difficult task in life, as our mind will always put forth number of excuses in the name of valid reasons so as to oppose the change. Once we gain the ability to understand the trick that our mind would play, it will be lot easier to appreciate and embrace the change.


Some of the statements I hear when a change is imposed from outside are:

1. It's too difficult.
2. It's not gonna work.
3. We've tried this before or we've never tried something similar.
4. This too visionary or lacks vision.
5. We've always done it this way.
6. We already have a proven method in place.
7. I am not sure, if this will be good for us.
8. I don't think this is logical.
9. We don't have enough time and resources.
10. It just doesn't make sense to change.
11. ... and many more.

Some of the statements I hear when a change is embraced within are:

1. Wow....it's an excellent change.
2. I am sure its gonna to be good for us.
3. We are bored of doing it the same way.
4. We should try something new.
5. This is the right moment for change.
6. To change is for a greater vision.
7. We should take a chance.
8. Let's try it out.
9. We should explore new avenues.
10. It's challenging to experiment.
11. ... and many more.

As we noticed, it's all the mind's smart play. All these statements are more subjective to the individual and his/her perception towards the change. We come up with any of the first set of statements if we are forced to change and we bring forth the second set of statements in case we are fully convinced that the change is essential at that point of time. We always see these two different groups of people in this society and I am not here to say which is good or which is good to be in.

All I can say from my little experience, is if we are a person who would take some time to think with a larger perspective before jumping into conclusions we would always belong into the second group. It does not mean that we should happily accept and appreciate all the changes that's happening, instead we should have the ability to discriminate the good and bad, not based on our own personal likes and dislike, but purely from a holistic point of view.

Thanks for visiting my page.

With Love,
Anbusivam

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Congruent Living

Hello Friends,

Welcome Anbusivam's Blog Page.

I am doing my DCS (Diploma in Counseling Skills) from Banjara Academy. Our teachers both Dr.Ali Khwaja and Raja Reddy are wonderful people. I really love and enjoy myself in this course with excellent classmates helping me to understand myself and others in a better way.

As a part of the course work we were out of Bangalore this weekend to Manthan, a six-acre farm located in Yelahanka (outskirts of Bangalore), belonging to the Banjara Academy serves as the venue for the many activities of the Academy. Manthan is an ideal weekend getaway in its wonderful serene surroundings. Two full days were all about "SelF AwarenesS".

I personally had a wonderful experience there, during the camp I could really get to know some of my unknown traits those are useful neither for me nor for anyone else. In fact those qualities in me were roadblocks to some extent in my interpersonal relations. So, having identified them I am gonna sincerely work on them to get rid of them to replace with some very useful qualities there in place. I did some soul searching there to identify few good qualities those will be certainly useful to me and in my interactions as well.



"Congruent Living" is the right phrase I would like to put in place for what I want in life. Carl Rogers originated the word the term congruence. For him congruence is only when our thoughts, feelings, emotions, values and behaviours are aligned in same direction. I always find meditation to be an excellent technique to strive towards congruence. I am sure this is helping me a lot in my never ending journey from the present real-self to the ideal-self.

Thanks for visiting my page.

With Love,
Anbusivam