Life Lessons from Children

Hello Friends,

Welcome to Anbusivam's Blog Page.

Today November 14th is Children's Day in India. I had a wonderful opportunity to take part in Children's Day Celebrations organised in our office. Colleagues had come to office with their children and family today for the gala celebrations.

As usual I took up my role as an "Observer", started observing the cute little children over there running around, playing, singing and dancing. Kids just live their life enjoying every moment, enthusiastic about everything, eager to learn, curious about everything and with full of contagious energy. Practical life lessons we could learn by just observing child's play is plenty.

Few learning's from those cute little ones are here:

1. Live every moment:

Children live their life spontaneously. Literally every moment is experienced just during that moment and is thoroughly enjoyed. Nothing is pre-planned, they take life as it comes without much of worry. Kids don't waste the right moment at hand in thinking about the future or past, they just live in that moment completely involved. We adults always repent for what happened in the past or anticipate what would happen in future, and in that very process we miss the present right in front of us.

2. Ask lots of questions:

Kids ask lots of questions on matters very trivial to adults. What...? Why...? How...? When...? Where...? would be their major vocabulary once they start understanding things around. There would always be greatest level of curiosity to learn, to understand and to know about every thing around them. Most of the time they may not get answers for all their questions, but it doesn't stop them from asking more questions.

3. No emotional baggage's carried:

Children never carry emotional baggage's like we adults do always in life. Kids don't carry on with their emotions in life. As child I used to quarrel with my sister, we fought a lot for simple things in life. But that will last for not more than few minutes. We will be playing, jumping and running just after that. But now as grown ups we experience each and every situation with some or other pre-conceived ideas in life.

4. Contagious positive energy:

I would always consider "Contagious positive energy" to be the best in children. They enjoy life with full of positive energy that's instantly contagious. Doesn't matter how big our problem is, simply watching a child's play would make us happy and enthusiastic. Their positive energy is highly contagious.

5. No Inhibitions:

Inhibitions are meaning less in Children's world. They just don't worry about anyone and anything around. Unlike adults they don't worry about the consequences, just never bother what others would think. Kids would always want to be themselves, irrespective of where they are. They carry around themselves as just they are.

6. Curious about everything:

Children are curious about everything around. Curiosity is what makes them touch the fire, catch a fly, eat a bug, run onto the streets, jump from the stairs and many more. Always be ing curious to explore new things gives them a never ending learning experiences.

7. Ego Less:

There is nothing called "ego" in Kid's world. Children never have "I" conscious, they just go with the life as it comes without any egoistic thoughts. They fight and quarrel for a moment and next moment we would find them playing as if nothing had happened. The best part of child's behaviour is complete surrender to the loved ones most often the mother.

8. Express the Feelings:
Children would freely express their feelings no matter they are. Their feelings are readily available on their faces for every one to see. Kids don't hide or conceal their feelings and emotions, instead they express them right at that moment. We don't have to guess what's a child's feeling as it will be very obvious in her face. Openly expressing feelings makes life easier and simpler of us and people around us.

I've just listed few practical learning's we could take from Children. Of course we all has gone through that life as a child, but somewhere in the process of growing up we've acquired few things that are not very useful to us and dropped down few things that may be of great help in life.

Let's go back to our wonderful childhood, wake up the little child in us, live life king size.

With Love,
Anbusivam

Yes, It's Ok to Start Again

Dear Friends,

Welcome to Anbusivam's Blog Page.

It's been more than two months now since I wrote a blog post.

After 2 long months, I am back to blogging. Yes, it’s been more than two months now…two long months. It is really long as I have missed almost more than 8 weeks of blogging. Initially I thought of taking break for a month after my wedding, but it got extended to more than two months. I was too busy in setting up our new home, also had friends visiting us with lots of love and kind wishes. It’s been overwhelming to receive good friends and kind relatives at our new home.

In spite of all my counseling classes and learning’s, I always used to wonder how I am going to cope up with a new relation called spouse in my life. I was worried how I am going to share my personal space with someone else whom I did not know for years. Fortunately, we had more than 3 months after we met till our marriage day. We shared a lot about our likes, dislikes, our childhood, school and college life, about our family, friends, relatives and many more. Now with my loving and caring wife Sangeetha beside me, life has taken a new facet. It’s nice to see lots of things are changing in life for good and better.

I feel great and rejuvenated to come back to you all through this blog again.

With this I am starting again.

I am sure I'll share more useful, interesting and informative thoughts here.

With Love,
Anbusivam

Being Right or Being Happy

Dear Friends,

Welcome to Anbusivam's Blog Page.

When I wrote about being right or happy in my previous post, many of my readers were keen to know more about it. Here comes my thoughts and understandings on one of the key learning’s from my counselling course.

"Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy...?"

Think for a moment when you were in an arugment and want to be right, don't you remember that you had to compromise on your happiness. I realised this when I was in an argument with one of my friends few weeks ago. I obviously wanted to make my point, knowing that he is not correct. But he was not in a mood to accept that he is wrong, which would be a blow to his big ego. After long arguments and counter arguments, I suddenly realised that the discussion had stuck into an endless circle, without any further progress. I started playing devil's advocate, carefully changing side to accept his point knowing very well that it's not right. I decided to do this only to stop those endless arguments just to prove a point. When we departed he was really happy that his point was accepted and finally he had won the argument. But I am sure that he himself had a doubt on the entire discussion and the point he was conveying and trying to convince me.

Later in the evening when he was little relaxed, I approached him with a clean reference supporting my argument stating that I was right in the morning. In no time he accepted the truth and apologised for being adamant during the morning discussion. I felt happy and he too was.

When I was thinking about the day that evening, it did strike to me that, though I was not right in the morning ultimately I was happy at end of the day. Many a times we tend to stick to our point in arguments and discussions with our loved ones, friends and colleagues without even thinking about the real purpose of the argument.

We should be courageous and courteous enough to give up something, though we know we are correct, while letting the other person win over us. This will be of utmost important especially with our family and loved ones, where the relationship and bonding is of highest priority than being right in a petty issue. Moreover these kinds of heated arguments and discussion always lead to fights shifting focus on the person instead of the real issue. When we are discussing an issue with another person, let's better put our focus on where it should be, on the real problem, not the other person.

When we choose being happiness over the need of being right, obviously a great relationship blossoms over there.

Whenever we are stuck in an argument with our loved ones, we should ask ourselves.

Do you want to be Happy or do you want to be Right...?

Thanks for visiting my page.

With Love,

Anbusivam

Looking Front and Marching Ahead

Dear Friends,

Welcome to Anbusivam's Blog Page.

After my previous post on Looking Back, I lately realised that I had almost forgot to look front. Now, I've decided to march ahead with newer learning’s and experiences in life.

At this juncture both in my Personal and Professional life, big changes are taking place that's going to bring in more responsibilities with greater expectations. At personal front I’m getting married on 2nd September. It's taking up most of my time after work and that's the main reason for no regular updates here in www.anbusivam.com.

I am sure Life is going to be colorful with lots of new experiences and learning’s particularly in terms of understanding personal relationships. I am used to live alone, away from my parents now for almost more than 5 yrs. I think I've become less sensitive to the under currents of actual feelings and emotions expressed to me in all these years. May be I should spend some more quality time looking within myself to understand me as a person first and next relationships with my near and dear ones. I am trying to be more sensitive to the feelings expressed and unexpressed sometimes.

My DCS (Diploma in Counseling Skills) would be of greatest help to make my life really fruitful and joyful. I can never forget one question that I’ve learnt on relationships, which is “Do you want to be correct or do you want to be happy…?” Mot of the times we want to be correct, want to be perfect, continue the argument just to prove that other person is wrong and at the end what remains is not happiness, but a bitterness in relationship. The moment we let go those compulsions to prove a point or to be perfect always, close relationships would bloom into flowers of happiness.

Off late I am getting comments from my friends that most of my recent posts are based on emotional and psychological factors. Yes, after my counseling course and little experiences with the few clients I’ve got, I think mental wellness is utmost important than any great leadership qualities in life. Sound mind in a sound body is the basic stepping stone to any great journey in life.

I am starting to look forward and march ahead with new thoughts, ideas and experiments in life to understand ultimately “What makes us do what do we do…?” that is "Motivation" in life.

Thanks for visiting my page.

With Love,

Anbusivam

Leadership & Motivation - Looking Back

Dear Friends,

Welcome to Anbusivam's Blog Page.

Last evening, I was just looking back into all my earlier blog posts and it's amazing to see the amount of information that's been collated here in one place over the period of more than 2 years with 84 articles as of now. Yes, when I started this blog with my first post on a fine morning of May, 2007 this was the only intention. All I wanted was to bring in the interesting and useful details that I come across on my most favorite topic "Leadership & Motivation" in one single place. Moreover the best part is the encouragement I get from you the Readers of this blog that keeps me on my toes to get in more and more useful articles that will help us make our lives better.

I still remember what I said on one of our early Bangalore Bloggers Meet, "I've started this blog just for myself to collate some of the useful information I come across, read, experiment, and learn on Leadership & Motivation at one place which, I would be able to look back in future just by click of a mouse. Adding to that it would be great if I can get some sincere readers to this blog and the greatest happiness would be if my thoughts and ideas here in my blog can help them in making their lives better".

Of course I like all my articles, but some are worth mentioning here again. Find here some I liked the most when I looked back yesterday.

Being an ardent lover of nature, I loved these two when I worte and even now when I read after almost 2 years.

Leadership = Gardening

Human'Culture' Vs Agri'Culture'

This one is my favorite as many of my visitors coming from search engines lands up in this page.

Why do we need motivation...?

I like this as I talked about enjoying the present, while getting ready for the future.

Doing What We Love Vs Loving What We Do

I love this only because I get lots and lots of visitors searching for the quote "God made the Earth, but the Dutch made Holland" and also I like my quote "God made me in the Earth, but I made my Life".

Dutch Made Holland – A Lesson for Life

This talks about my own personal fear of starting this blog, writing in English and how I did overcome that. I am really happy for starting this blog (Inspired by my friend Himanshu Sheth ) that has become a great platform to express and share my learning's to the world around me. This also keeps me on to read, learn, experiment and share much more in my life.

Where does the strength to work on weaknesses come from?

This is one of my most favorite, as I wrote this after a home work of little survey asking the question "What is that, ultimately you want in life...???" to people I come across everyday.

Choosing to be Happy :-)

Power of deciding our happiness.

This was written after realising the power of encouragement to achieve, from the Indian Premier League Cricket season 2008. And these lines I like the most "Close your eyes and imagine a cheerful group of cheerleaders in front of you with "Whoos-Hoos" and "Shake Ups" for all those commendable things you've done in your life till this moment."

What about becoming our own cheerleaders?

This article was based on Indira Nooyi, PepsiCo's CEO. According to her there are 5 skills that's the hallmark of a good leader that leads to "Performance with Purpose".

PepsiCo's Leadership Philosophy of Performance with Purpose

I wrote this after my NLP(Neuro Linguistic Programming) lessons, all about Getting into and Getting out of our emotional states/situations.

Power of Association and Dissociation.

Greatly inspiring experience sharing from my visit to Spastic Society of Karnataka and my interactions with those special children with special needs and abilities.

Motivation from Special Children

One another unforgettable inspiration from Prof.Raundy Paush

Brick Walls Are Not There To Keep Us Out

My latest one on similar lines...."Brick walls are no there to keep us out"

I Will Not Quit

Yes indeed its very true that, "A Small Change Can Make Big Difference" most of the time in many areas of our life.

Small Change Can Make Big Difference

Experience is the "bestest" teacher that always results in the most enduring lessons.

Experience - The Best Teacher

I am sure I would like to list all my 84 articles here, but that may not be possbile. Every article or post had its own significance at that time of writing and some like mentioned above are very relevant any time in the past, present and future as well.

At this juncture. I would like to thank all the good hearts that keeps me encouraging in keeping this blog most interesting, informative and above all the most useful in daily life. Many Thanks to all my good friends, kind well wishers and sincere visitors/readers of this blog. My heartfelt gratitude to each one of you those help me, support me and inspire me to go on in life with a passion towards "Leadership & Motivation".

Thank You All. Keep visiting, give your most valuable comments and feedbacks.

Thanks for visiting my page.

With Love,
Anbusivam

I Will Not Quit

Dear Friends,

Welcome to Anbusivam's Blog Page.

"When faced with a huge mountain, I will not quit, I will keep on striving until I climb over, find a pass through, tunnel underneath or simply go around to get past. Yes, nothing can stop me."

I came across this saying few days ago and was thinking of writing on this yesterday. As I am getting busy with few of other things in life, writing a blog post had almost taken a back seat. Last night I made a point to wake up early to write this and here I am.

Quitting is something that's so easy for some and way too hard for others. One of my friends is such an expert in quitting; he quits and comes out of almost every thing that he starts within few weeks time. Another friend of mine is struggling so hard to quit something in his life, which he is not able to in spite of all his efforts. Normal human tendency is to find blame excuses to stay away from hard working, time consuming, effort taking tasks.

Why do people visit this blog? or why does self-help a big business all over the world? We all need a strong push at times when we are stuck in front of a huge mountain. The moment we encounter it, we stumble with fear of failure and we convince ourselves to quit the journey. Very few strong minds determined to reach their goals, having great persistence will obviously not worry about these obstacles in the journey of life. They very well know that quitting is not the solution to problems in life and the very problems will make them better in life. Imagine a life without a single problem, I am sure it's not going to be interesting for long time. It will make a routine and boring life.

As I've written in one of my earlier posts, "brick walls are not there to keep us out". Obstacles, brick walls or mountains what so ever we call, they are there only to check and evaluate how badly we want things in our life, it's just there to see the validate the sincere determination of our journey in life.

Yes, of course quitting is not the solution always but in the same time it should be okay for us to give up and let go at times. Our persistence shouldn't disguise into stubborn-ness over time. This should be a very careful process, we should not misunderstand giving up out of weakness, procrastination, fail to put in sincere efforts and to be in our comfort zone. We should be quitting after a careful study of all possible situations saying "Hey, you know what? this is definitely not going to work, there is no point to sticking to it anymore, it's better to quit, spend our time and effort in other goals of life."

And I think quitting, should always be last possible option in life's goals and journeys.

Thanks for visiting my page.

With Love

Anbusivam

Power of deciding our happiness.

Hello Friends,

Welcome to Anbusivam's Blog Page.

"What is that, ultimately you want in life...???"

When I asked this question to people I know from all walks of life, starting from a grade 5 student to as elderly as 95 yrs old. The final answer always lead to someting like this,

"I want to be Happy in Life, Happiness is what I want."

I am sure each and every single action we perform in our lives is to seek happiness. Be the CEO of a million dollar corporate or a floor boy in a small office, irrespective of caste, creed, status and religion, happiness is what we all seek all the time. Unfortunately we seek something all over the world that is actually hidden within ourselves in abundance.

With few personal experiments in my own life, I am completely convinced that we can never find real happiness outside us. If we happen to find happiness from something or someone outside us, then its never going to be a permanent one. May be that will last for a second or a minute or a day or for few months. Never can one get a permanent happiness from the external things outside in this world. We human beings are creatures of choice. We have got the great boon of choosing to be happy irrespective of what happens outside. This may sound too philosophical on the first go, but actually this is the ultimate truth that we need to understand.

For example, you have a simple mobile phone with which you can make only phone calls, that being your basic requirement. You feel miserable, seeing yourself in the midst of your friends who are gadget geeks playing around with their high tech phones with which calls could also be made. Now, thinking that you will get happiness with a brand new phone, you buy a new phone with all possible features in it. You think that you are the happiest person in this world with your new gadget, only until you come across an another friend having a device better than yours. At that very moment your happiness ceases to exist and you start thinking you could have bought this one. You feel miserable again.

Here your happiness is fully based on a mobile phone. You the intelligent being had given out the power of deciding your happiness to a lifeless electronic instrument.

We all have made and heard the following statements in our lives:

"You make me unhappy"

"You are making me furious"

"I'll be happy, if you love me"

"I am always upset because of you"

"I don't like to see you"

"I hate this traffic"

The moment we start fixing things outside to make ourselves happy, its going to be a never ending process. Instead we should be fixing things within us. In the sametime, we shouldn't be neglecting the external things that will make our living comfortable and easy in this world. No doubt the world has become a better place to live with all the scientific and materialistic advancements. All those material stuff should be seen as something that will only make our physical existence little easier. They never can give us permanent happiness that we seek in our lives.

The ultimate point here is the moment we take charge of our happiness, nothing external can control it. Happiness will no longer be something that we pursue all through our life. Happiness will always blossom within us.

"Let's not give away the power of deciding our happiness to someone or something outside us"

With Love,

Anbusivam

Bangalore Marathon Open 10K in 68mins.

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Welcome to Anbusivam's Blog Page.

Hurray......I could complete today's Bangalore Sunfeast Marathon open 10K in 68mins.

Though never had any timing target eariler, I thought that I'll not take more than 1hr 30mins. But completing in 1hr 8mins was really a great achievement. I was just jumping with joy and happiness at the finish line. Now I know my limits. Next year target would be 10kms in 40mins.

My daily treadmill runs for the last 2 weeks gave me lots and lots of endurance to keep myself going especially in the last 2kms of the circuit. Adding to that my morning trainings on the road too helped me a lot to get used to the kind of terrain we ran. The great levels of enthusiasm and energy in the air is an another important factor for me to make it. Cute little childre, elders and lots of people were cheering up on the sides of the road all along the run. Whenever I slowdown or start walking I came across these people who  encouraged to run. Many Thanks to all those unknown good hearts.

Ultimately it was a great fun, elated feeling, boost for self-confidence and I knew my limits now.

With Love,
Anbusivam

PS: Hope to share some race day photos soon.

Power of Aiming High

Hello Friends,

Welcome to Anbusivam's Blog Page.

Few weeks back I got a mail on Bangalore Sunfeast Marathon and I decided to take part in that. When I had to choose between 2 options I went ahead with the second one. First was to run 5.7km Majja Run and second was to 10km in Open 10K Run. When couple of my friends insisted to join them on Majja Run, I was interested only in 10km run. At that time I was not very sure if I would be able to complete 10km with some of my irregular running experiences. I had my own apprehensions and self doubts, but something inside me pushed towards 10km.  I was also fully aware that its going to be a big task for me with the limited time available to train from then.

The important point to note here is, if I had taken up 5.7km run then I am sure all my trainings these days would not have crossed even 3km. Now with my enrollment into 10km run, all I see in front of me is "How am I gonna complete 10k...?". Obviously when my target is 10km, running more than 5km every day seems to be too less for me. I am pushing myself to reach atleast 8km this week and then to hit my target of 10km on the Race day i.e coming Sunday, 31st May 2009.

When I was thinking on this simple experience in my life, I realised that keeping a greater goal and aiming high will always make us reach greater heights than having some mediocre goals in life just for the sake of having it. I have a great hope on myself that I will be able to complete this 10km run. I don't have any timing targets, all I want is to complete 10km run successfully. That would surely give me lots and lots of confidence to take up much higher goals. 

I sincerely think this "Power of Aiming High" works pretty well in almost all areas of our lives. What's the worst thing than can happen in aiming high...? may be we will not meet our aim or target. But at the end what we have accompolished would be surely much more than what we could have otherwise.

Would you like to share some great acheivements in your life with this wonderful "Power of Aiming High".

Thanks for visiting my page.

With Love

Anbusivam

P.S: I'll let you know my run details this Sunday evening.

Quotes from Heraclitus

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Welcome to Anbusivam's Blog Page.

Reading my earlier post on Change, one of my good friends with whom I used to work some five years ago introduced me to Heraclitus. Heraclitus(535BC - 475BC) a Greek philosopher, known for his doctrine of change being central to the universe.

I found his quotes greatly though provoking, and I am really amazed by the relevance of each and every word said even now at present. Here are some of them,

The one I liked the most is:

Good character is not formed in a week or a month. It is created little by little, day by day. Protracted and patient effort is needed to develop good character.

The one my friend liked the most is:

If you do not expect the unexpected you will not find it, for it is not to be reached by search or trial. If we do not expect the unexpected, we will never find it.

And some of them are:

Character is destiny.

Nothing endures but change.

This universe, which is the same for all, has not been made by any god or man, but it always has been, is, and will be an ever-living fire, kindling itself by regular measures and going out by regular measures.

You could not step twice into the same river; for other waters are ever flowing on to you.

The road up and the road down is one and the same.

Even sleepers are workers and collaborators on what goes on in the universe.

Opposition brings concord. Out of discord comes the fairest harmony.

Thanks for visiting my page.

With Love,

Anbusivam

Change is the only changeless

Hello Friends,

Welcome to Anbusivam's Blog Page.

Every time I think about some change....I always remember 2 famous quotes I've come across. First one is "Everything changes, only change is changeless" don't know who said this and the second one from Mahatma Gandhiji "Be the change you want to be". Many a times we tend to bend and mend others into our own ways. Trying to change others always ends up in vain and leads to a lot of pain and displeasure. We are not comfortable in changing ourselves as there is a lot of risks involved in that, mainly stepping from the known to an unknown is always fearful, scary, and anxious.

Let's think for a moment how important is "change" in our lives. Neither sorrow, nor happiness is going to be permanent in life. Anything and everything in this world has to undergo the process of evolution and hence change is inevitable. If at all change has not happened, this world would have reached a state of stagnation and no progress would have happened all through these years. In spite of seeing so many changes every day in this world, we are still skeptical about change.

Change at first frightens us, as we have to come out of our comfort zone. and then the fear of uncertainties that would show up. Any change that has to happen outside is most of the times pretty easy, where as any change that has to happen within us is the most difficult thing to happen. But the beauty is when a moment had come for an internal change within ourselves, nothing can stop that. Once we are fully convinced about the change, our mind automatically lookout for ways and means for the change to happen rightaway. To reach that state is the most difficult task in life, as our mind will always put forth number of excuses in the name of valid reasons so as to oppose the change. Once we gain the ability to understand the trick that our mind would play, it will be lot easier to appreciate and embrace the change.


Some of the statements I hear when a change is imposed from outside are:

1. It's too difficult.
2. It's not gonna work.
3. We've tried this before or we've never tried something similar.
4. This too visionary or lacks vision.
5. We've always done it this way.
6. We already have a proven method in place.
7. I am not sure, if this will be good for us.
8. I don't think this is logical.
9. We don't have enough time and resources.
10. It just doesn't make sense to change.
11. ... and many more.

Some of the statements I hear when a change is embraced within are:

1. Wow....it's an excellent change.
2. I am sure its gonna to be good for us.
3. We are bored of doing it the same way.
4. We should try something new.
5. This is the right moment for change.
6. To change is for a greater vision.
7. We should take a chance.
8. Let's try it out.
9. We should explore new avenues.
10. It's challenging to experiment.
11. ... and many more.

As we noticed, it's all the mind's smart play. All these statements are more subjective to the individual and his/her perception towards the change. We come up with any of the first set of statements if we are forced to change and we bring forth the second set of statements in case we are fully convinced that the change is essential at that point of time. We always see these two different groups of people in this society and I am not here to say which is good or which is good to be in.

All I can say from my little experience, is if we are a person who would take some time to think with a larger perspective before jumping into conclusions we would always belong into the second group. It does not mean that we should happily accept and appreciate all the changes that's happening, instead we should have the ability to discriminate the good and bad, not based on our own personal likes and dislike, but purely from a holistic point of view.

Thanks for visiting my page.

With Love,
Anbusivam

Attitude + Action = Achievement

Hello Friends,

Welcome to Anbusivam's Page.

Attitude, with Action is everything……and that’s what I’ve learnt last week from a simple person at our office gym.

We had a trainer in our office gym form “FitnessOne”, a city based fitness centre till last month. This man whose name I don’t want to mention, no doubt was physically fit to be a gym trainer. But, his attitude I am sure was not very useful either to himself or to us the gym users. He used to come down to our office every evening at 4.00pm till 7.00pm. He was least bothered about who is coming in there and what people are doing inside. He just comes and will sit on the chair, would just relax watching people working out in the gym. When some of us voluntarily started talking to him, he only talked about the money he earns by training people individually in the city centre where he worked in mornings. He never used to help or guide us; instead he will not even answer properly when any of us ask about the way of doing some exercise. Once when I asked about the usage of cross ramps, he gave me some answer and added that he’ll charge so much of money for individual training in his centre. He also had an attitude of looking us at someone who is using our office gym facility free of cost as if he is running our office. Fortunately end of last month he just vanished off and we got a new trainer from FitnessOne in the interim only for a month.

This gentleman is Bala, from whom I learned attitude and action are two key things of achievements in life. Bala would quietly come in and would do nothing for first days except looking keenly on to the entry register, figuring out are coming regularly to the gym. Slowly he started voluntarily coming down to the users and correct their mistakes while exercising. He would tell this is not the way to this particular exercise, what would be the issues if done wrong, will also teach them what is the right way of doing that and benefits of that as well. Slowly people building trust on him, and he started concentrating personally on almost every one helping them to chalk out a weekly workout plan. Yesterday he called me to teach some specific abdomen exercises as his interim period of one month is coming to an end by next week. He wanted me to learn them properly before he leaves us. We’ve requested FitnessOne to post Bala as a permanent trainer in our office gym and waiting for their reply.

Bala could have taken his role as a trainer very lightly as done by our previous guy as he is going to be here only for a month. But he had chosen to take it seriously and sincerely. He was so simple, straight forward and down to earth with us. His wonderful positive attitude along with his committed action gained all our trust and support for him. I think this is his great achievement.

Attitude + Action = Achievement

Thanks for visiting my page.

With Love,
Anbusivam

Prolific Power of Anger

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Welcome to Anbusivam's Blog Page.

In most of my counselling sessions I find people, either unable to identify or totally unaware of their own feelings and emotions. I wonder how will they be able to relate themselves with their family and friends, being ignorant of one's own emotions. One of the key emotions that dominate us more than often is "Anger". People say "I shouldn't be getting angry at all", once a young boy told me "My parents should suddenly forget that there is an emotion called anger", one girl student said in a workshop "One thing I want to get rid off is, my anger". Most of us strongly believe that anger is a negative emotion and is to be suppressed. We tend to hide it from others and from ourselves too. I remember my childhood when I was clearly told not to get angry when elders are there around. I was even told getting angry is a worst thing a child can do and for many years I believed that, neither it is good get angry nor it is good to express my anger..

Do you think anger is such a dangerous and unwanted emotion that is to be totally get ridden off...? Remember last time when you were angry...?

I surely don't think so. Anger is one of the core emotions that is of most necessary to the man kind. All the problems we see around are not because of anger or getting angry, but only because of the way we express our anger.

Can you think of the ways you would choose to express your anger..? What do you do when you are really fired up...? what do say when you are fuming in anger on anyone or anything...? what would be the reaction of your friends and family around...?

Anger, not handled properly may lead to dangerous consequences like verbal/physical abuse, road rage, aggressive behaviours, threat to life, mental depression and so on. Yes, in some extreme cases anger could be totally destructive and irreversible, to the extent of murder. We all know that anger is such a powerful emotion that can reach its peak in spur of a moment within no time. Most often anger comes out with an outburst of enormous energy, which is generally expressed in a not very useful way either to us or others.

I think the best way to handle anger in a more efficient manner is to deeply understand the way it is triggered up in us and how do we express that. It's important to divert that outburst of energy in to a more productive and useful one.

Here are a few steps to make the best use of the Prolific Power of Anger.

1. First and foremost, accept and acknowledge that you are angry, when ever you are.


2. Learn the truth that, anger is a most common human emotion and indeed its good to get angry being a normal human being.


3. Introspect to identify you own anger spots (identifying everything that can trigger anger in you, by looking back into your own past when ever you were angry)


4. Think from an objective point of view, what are the ways you've been expressing anger in all these years from your childhood till now.


5. Evaluate them, are those ways of expressing anger is really useful or do you really feel sorry and regret for what you have done...?


6. Think of what could be the alternate ways and means that your anger could be expressed with out any harm to you or others around...?


7. Think of how can be the energy outburst diverted into a positive, more useful purpose of getting things done in a diplomatic way...?


8. Learn to express your anger in a very calm, yet aggressive manner without loosing your temper, while holding the ability to stay with your rationale thinking.

Anger, is an excellent emotion nature has given to the man kind. It sometimes protects us, helps us in making decisions, it gets things done, comes handy to make our point and many more.

Anger is always a good emotion to have, if we know how to express it and handle it effectively. Go ahead, Get Angry.

Thanks for visiting my page.

With Love,

Anbusivam

Experience - The Best Teacher

Hello Friends.

Welcome to Anbusivam's Blog Page.

While I was travelling from my home town to Bangalore last night, numbers of thoughts were rambling in my mind due to couple of comings and goings in my life. I was thinking of my recent experiences and lessons I am taught by them…therefore got a thread for this post.

Yes, I am absolutely convinced that experience is the best teacher in our lives. First Person Experience in particular is the “Bestest” teacher. I agree that its always good learn lessons from others experience and not to burn our finger once again to learn things. Yes reading biographies, listening to experiences, seeking wisdom from our elders are all means of taking lessons for us to make our lives easier. What we learn through experience is more lasting than that acquired through reading. It is accurate, complete and permanent. It is first-hand knowledge. But, nothing can teach us as good as our own personal First Person Experience. I’ve learnt that, grueling experiences at some point of time will always be a great saviour at some later stage in life and I am sure it’s pretty much true for all of us. A child does not stop playing with fire till he burns his fingers. He learns from his own experience.

Moreover, involving as a first person brings in all the senses of ours into the situation and our brain precisely records that experiential learning so that, it would be readily available for us in future at the right moment when needed. Before crying out “Why Me…?” we should understand that the experiences we have had all through our life is not just to test our faiths in some unknown beliefs, but only to make us as strong as what we are today. We should be thanking the experience and feel blessed for having given this wonderful opportunity to learn. There is profound meaning and purpose to everything that happens to us. May be we are not aware of the purpose right when things are happening to us, but certainly looking back we can very well understand that, its all well connected to our present:

Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer said,
You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards.

It’s also interesting to know that, two of us exactly experiencing a similar experience may feel entirely different based on so many factors. It may depend on our child hood, up bringing, society, family values and many more. Hence it is important to experience the experience personally in first person to get the best out of it.

Experience is the "bestest" teacher that always results in the most enduring lessons.

Thanks for visiting my page.

With love,
Anbusivam

Alcoholic Leadership

Hello Friends,

Welcome to Anbusivam's Blog Page.

I know you must be wondering, what's this Alcoholic Leadership...???

Its all about taking leadership over alcohol and not letting that bottle take over us. We had an excellent session this morning in our counselling class by Mr.Vincent representing AA (Alcoholic Anonymous, a world wide organisation), Bangalore. He shared his personal life experiences on his 25yrs of addiction and how he poured alcohol completely out of his life 15yrs ago. Since then from 1995, he is very instrumental in working with AA, Bangalore reaching out to alcoholics and their families to get out of alcoholism.

AA defines alcoholism as "A physical allergy, coupled with mental obsession, leading to spiritual bankruptcy".

Alcoholism by itself is a deadly disease that succumb mankind to a lowest level in life. I personally knew few of them in my family and friends, who are alcoholics leading a miserable life.

Image courtesy (http://images.inmagine.com)

Its not that they wish and happy to lead life in a miserable way, but they've no other choice as they are programmed to the core with the barrels of alcohol that have gone in all through these years. Even if they badly want to come out of that misery, they will not able to do so, as things have gone out of their hands and mind. Hands starts shaking and shivering without that peg in the morning, mind is out of control fantasizing that one day every thing will be alright. Most importantly they make a promise every day not to drink, though they very well knew that their day is going to end up drinking anyway.

AA is an excellent self help group that has made a remarkable change in thousands of lives all over the world. Here is their famous twelve step program to overcome addiction.

THE TWELVE STEPS PROGRAM OF ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

In these days of widely accepted social drinking, its very very important to be aware that, alcoholism starts with a very first drink in some point of time in our life. I am not here to say don't drink, it is absolutely an individual's choice to make. All I would like to request is

"Let us be the Leaders in this world and not allow those mere bottles to take over us".

Thanks for visiting my page.

With Love,
Anbusivam

Note: If you are willing to help an alcoholic in Bangalore, please get in touch with me to know further details on AA, Bangalore fellowship. Thank You.

Great Indian Democracy..Where is it heading...?

Hello Friends,

Welcome to Anbusivam's Blog Page.

Now, time has come for the Great Indian Democracy to reinvent itself. I strongly believe this is one of the best times that the younger generation of this wonderful nation can assertively make their voice heard to the country. These days we hardly see any politician who also works for this society and the people those elected him/her. One can clearly see every where from north to south, east to west, the inability of our Indian politicians to rise above their very narrow mentality and their own personal agendas.

Where are we heading....??? I am afraid, if this trend continues for next 10 years, our entire democratic system will collapse and people will take up law and order in their hands, which may lead to dire consequences. We very well know that, all we need is a Great Leader of all times, capable of taking the nation to next greater level.

It's more than enough and we the people are badly badly sick of

dynasty politics,
ruthlessly selfish leaders,
ridiculous freebies,
undelivered promises,
criminal and unethical law makers,
corrupt minds,
opportunistic hearts,
money and muscle powerplays,
madly power greedy,
thoughtless actions,
useless statements,
absurd behaviours,
and on......and on.............,

I am seeing a number of so called leaders willing to become the top brass of our country, and I wonder if any of them even think truthfully if he/she deserves that......??? I can understand that in a democratic country like our's anyone and everyone can have that wish, but as a common sense they should also think about their credentials and abilities to deliver on commitments.

Oh....I am sorry to talk in an alien language "deliver on commitments" what's that....???

One of my friends asked how to choose a better politician....how do I know whom to vote for....?

I think we should not be having that dilemma at all. I know a simple rule. In fact that's is pretty easy, all we need is to just choose between what we want, "worse" or "worst"......?


Let's make our vote count.

Thanks for visiting my page.

With Love,
Anbusivam

Let's Become Wiser Said Warren Buffet...!!!

Hello Friends.

Welcome to Anbusivam's Blog Page.

I talked about simplifying our lives in my previous post, Voluntary Simplicity.

One of my friends shared some wonderful thoughts from the great investor of our times Warren Buffet and I am sharing that with you all. I am sure this is nothing new, as he says its all the wisdom of our elders that will make us financially wiser.

Hard work: All hard work brings profit; but mere talk leads only to poverty.

Laziness: A sleeping lobster is carried away by the water current.

Earnings: Never depend on a single source of income.

Spending: If you buy things you don't need, you'll soon sell things you need.

Savings: Don't save what is left after spending; Spend what is left after saving.

Borrowings: The borrower becomes the lender's slave.

Accounting: It's no use carrying an umbrella, if your shoes are leaking.

Auditing: Beware of little expenses; a small leak can sink a large ship.

Risk-taking: Never test the depth of the river with both feet.

Investment: Don't put all your eggs in one basket.

I'm sure that those who have been practicing these principles will remain in good financial health.

Let us become wiser and lead a happy, healthy, prosperous and peaceful life.

Thanks for visiting my page.

With Love,
Anbusivam

Life of Voluntary Simplicity

Hello Friends,

Welcome to Anbusivam’s blog page.

Phew…!!! Job loss every where. I am literally seeing frowning faces every where....and the questions they ask are "How is it going in your company...?, any lay offs ...?".

Organisations are into cost cutting mode. Managers are looking for reducing the operating costs in each and every corner, even to the extent of buying low cost toilet tissues. For individuals, I believe this is the right time to come out of consumerism. which many are blindly falling prey to. In this time of global economic melt down, leading a simple life means a lot for survival.

Only way we individuals can cope with these kinds of situations is with “Voluntary Simplicity”. Voluntary simplicity comes from within. It is the only way of more sustainable human existence in this world. Voluntary simplicity is a matter of personal responsibility and conscious awareness of how we live on the planet. It means identifying the difference between our needs and our wants. Needs are those things that are necessary for our survival - food, clothing, and shelter. Wants are all the other things we desire and to a large extent are driven by media advertising. Simplicity as a life-style is the identifiable difference between needs and wants, and the awareness.

We must live simply, so that others may simply live. - Gandhi

The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak. - Hans Hofmann.

Practical Steps to Simplifying Our Life:

1. Get yourself with what you really need and not what you want.

2. Limit your buying habits. If we can escape materialism, we can easily get into the habit of buying less. And that will mean less stuff, less spending, less frustration.

3. Limit your media consumption, media advertisements dominates most of our buying decisions. Simplify your life and your information consumption by limiting it.

4. Learn to live frugally. Living frugally means buying less, wanting less, and leaving less of a footprint on the earth. It’s directly related to simplicity.

5. Before you buy something, write the item down on a note and if you still want it after a month, purchase it then.

6. Have a Buy Nothing Day.

7. Walk down or take out your bicycle to round the corner shopping.

8. Decide what is really working in your life and let go of that which no longer serves you.

9. Brew your own coffee at home instead of spending time and money in that posh café corner.

10. Find friends who know the glass is half-full or in other words, find friends who share the same value system as you do.

After all the above,

Always ask: Will this simplify my life? If the answer is no, reconsider.

Thanks for visiting my page.

With Love
Anbusivam

Counselor Chalisa...!!!

Hello Friends,

Welcome to Anbusivam's Blog Page.

Hanuman Chalisa is a Hindi poem on Lord Hanuman written by Shri.Tulsidas, which is recited as a prayer by Hindus. The moment I came across an excellent poem on Counselors , I shared it with my DCS ( Diploma in Counseling Skills) classmates of Banjara Academy. I would say nothing else in this world can depict what counseling and counselors are all about as perfectly as this one poem does. I am really really grateful for the person who had written this wonderful poem. Its simply amazing combination of words together that makes a huge impact. And yes, we as counselors decided to recite this day in and day out. We named it "Counselor Chalisa".

Here it goes:

"Counselor Chalisa"

I can't give solutions to all of
life's problems, doubts, or fears.
But I can listen to you and
together we will search for answers.

I can't change your past with all it's heartache and pain,
nor the future with it's untold stories.
But I can be there now when you need me to care.

I can't keep your
feet from stumbling.
I can only offer my hand
that you may grasp it
and not fall.

Your joys, triumphs, success,
and happiness are not mine;
Yet I can share in your laughter.

Your decisions in life are not mine to make, nor to judge;
I can only support you, encourage you,
and help you when you ask.

I can't prevent you from

falling away from friendship,

from your values, from me.

I can only pray for you,

talk to you, and wait for you.

I can't give you boundaries which I have determined for you,
But I can give you the room to change, room to grow,
room to be yourself.

I can't keep your heart from breaking and hurting,
But I can cry with you and help you pick up the pieces
and put them back in place.

I can't tell you who you are,

I can only love you and be your friend.

Thanks for visiting my page.

With Love,
Anbusivam